Billy Wolfe, 16, has been the favorite punching bag for bullies in Fayetteville, Arkansas since he was 12 years old. It’s not clear why. From the New York Times:
A car the color of a school bus pulls up with a boy who tells his brother beside him that he’s going to beat up Billy Wolfe. While one records the assault with a cellphone camera, the other walks up to the oblivious Billy and punches him hard enough to leave a fist-size welt on his forehead.
The video shows Billy staggering, then dropping his book bag to fight back, lanky arms flailing. But the screams of his sister stop things cold.
The aggressor heads to school, to show friends the video of his Billy moment, while Billy heads home, again.
Billy’s parents have filed suit against one bully and listed other “John Does” that may be added to the suit. They’re also considering suing the school district for not protecting him from repeated attacks at school. Normally, I’m anti-lawsuit, but this may be the only way to bully the bullies and the principal to crack down.
If the accusations in the article are remotely close to the truth, Billy is the victim and blame doesn’t attach to him.
That being said… why on earth are those parents still sending that boy to that school?
This post reminds me why, when other parents ask me about socialization and homeschooling, I just laugh.
Cardinal Fang
Why do the parents use the same school? Because although Fayetteville is a large town by Arkansas standards, it is still small. There are no other choices. As far as homeschooling, if the child has a learning disability, this makes the homeschooling choice very hard to do.
Unless they move and with Arkansas’ economy, it is not a choice either.
The end of the article says it all:
“Billy Wolfe, for example, deserves to open his American history textbook and not find anti-Billy sentiments scrawled across the pages. But there they were, words so hurtful and foul.
The boy did what he could. ‘I’d put white-out on them,’ he says. ‘And if the page didn’t have stuff to learn, I’d rip it out.’”
If the textbooks contained something, the kids wouldn’t have time for quite so much premeditated cruelty. Half of it is boredom.
A lot of parents end up homeschooling because their children have an awful time in school, either because of bullying or because of some kind of disability.
I cringe when I see Hollywood make Southerners look like a bunch of cretins. However, it’s another matter when “Southerners” give them grist to mill. And no wonder many of the good people of the North think that Southerners are bunch of hillbilly yah-hoos.
Who are these misfired spermazoas? These of crack head mentality, these of uncertain lineage, e.g., ancestors of Southern Scalawags or Yankee Carpetbaggers? Certainly not of true Southern origin as in chivalry who cast aspersions upon their parenthood and of the South by beating up one of their “own.”
It my fondest hopes that Billy’s parents successfully sue his aggressors back to the Stone Age.
I have a student this year who is a prime target for bullies. He is what one might term an “odd-duck.” He doesn’t seem to have a firm grasp on what is socially acceptable behavior and thus, he stands out.
I am one teacher in a school of 900 students. I cannot watch him every minute. When I’ve seen kids hassling him, I done what was the necessary protocol at that time. However, I advised his grandmother just last week, that her best alternative would be to look into some type of homeschooling. I told her that I worried about his safety, either personally (he slept a lot in class and I was told he did the same at home) or at the hands of other students.
Writing referrals are virtually ineffective at my school site as we’ve been told that we have too many. Suspensions at this time of the year are for the most egregious acts and students who have been harassing him probably would only get a slap on the hand.
This is tough for me as a sister to a mentally retarded sibling. I tend to get riled when I see this type of behavior in my students.
Children are not civilized. They are barbarians. Given the opportunity, they will almost always revert to “Lord of the Flies”behavior, as they have done here.
The article mentions a school official’s refusal to call the police after an assault that rendered the victim momentarily unconscious. What prevents the parents from calling the police? If my child were the victim of such an attack, I wouldn’t hesitate to press criminal charges - especially given the history of bullying and inaction on the part of the school.
My question is whether the parents of the boys doing the bullying are apprised of the situation? There’s an indication that at least one set of parents was made aware of their offspring’s conduct.
If they are not told about what their children are doing they should be, and if, once told, they don’t take swift and effective steps to stop it, then what the hell, let the legal system give them reasons why they should.
God knows I was a difficult kid, although bullying wasn’t one of my faults. I am 59 and if while in school I had engaged in such behavior I’d still be grounded.
Bullying is a social problem and requires social solutions. Prevention is far more effective than punishment (even when there is a mind to do so). Prevention means establishing clear policies against harassment and bullying. The policies must be followed up by educating students and staff regarding what constitutes harassment (example: a kid who is bullied because he is or is perceived as gay is being harassed, which means that there are some legal remedies that the school should be aware of).
While I tend to agree loosely with a previous poster who suggested a reversion to Lord of the Flies in the absence of adult leadership, I also have experienced how intensely willing kids are to do the right things when led appropriately by adults. Tolerance.org has lots of specific programmatic helps and curricula across the K-12 spectrum.
BTW–there is no shortage of small mindedness and fear of confronting entrenched social dysfunction in the northern states. And Tolerance.org is an outgrowth of the Southern Poverty Law Center.
Just think of all the wonderful socialization of which homeschoolers are so deprived . . . .
Best thing my dad taught me when I was a kid - if a bully tries to pick a fight with you, punch him hard in the nose. He also stated that if I ever got in trouble at school for it that he wouldn’t be upset with me.
Bullying will never end… it is a natural part of the competitive nature that we have inherited as a species. And, quite frankly, the same people do have a tendency to be bullied through all their years of school and well into adulthood. The best thing to do is to equip those likely to be bullied with the tools necessary to prevent/stop it or to mitigate its effects on their mental health. This does not mean that schools shouldn’t take more steps to crack down on bullying, but it is naive to think that a social policy solution can be established to make the problem go away.
There are two ways to deal with bullies. One is the ‘victim’ fights back. Might work, might not. The other method is guaranteed. A group of the ‘victims’ band together, isolate the bullies one by one and beat them until doctor visits are required. Needless to say the school would be horrified and expel the students involved. After all, it is much better to be a sheep than fight back. Regardless, they won’t protect the child, expell the students doing the deeds, or anything else except wring their hands and spout useless platitudes.
And, quite frankly, the same people do have a tendency to be bullied through all their years of school and well into adulthood.
This is true. People who have poor social skills, including kids with ADD, autism and Aspergers, tend to be targets of bullies. Despite the vaunted advantages of socialization, through the years those kids continue to have social skill deficits, which the schools rarely do anything to mitigate, and they continue to be bullied.
As a homeschooler, I’m often asked about socialization. I usually tell them that, yes, socialization is an issue and that’s why I homeschool. I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than subject any child of mine to the socialization that I experienced in school.
I go to Fayetteville High, and I’ve known Billy for years. This whole school system is really weird, you can complain a lot and say that they can’t do anything. They even find obscure reasons why they can’t do anything, like he shouldn’t have taunted someone or something. It makes it seem like they don’t care. Billy has been picked on for years, and his family is terrified. I support the guy too. Right now as I type this my class discusses the things that he’s being over rational, but he isn’t. I’ve been bullied to, you can’t escape it when your in it and they won’t stop when they start bullying you. Honestly, I hope his family goes more into this subject.
I’m all for homeschooling, I do it myself. I think the parents should take their son out of school right now as this is an issue of personal safety. But it solves nothing. There’s still a school that can’t ensure the safety of it’s students. If we are going to compell children to attend school then the absolute most basic condition should be that they are relatively safe there.
No school will ever stop bullying unless they can assign staff to observe every single interaction between students, which is obviously impossible. Bullying goes on in the cafeterias, buses, hallways, bathrooms, and classrooms… and the bullying might be nothing more than a whisper.
The current ways that schools deal with bullying - punish those who are caught bullying and hope it acts as a deterrent, teach children from a young age that bullying is wrong - can decrease the occurence of bullying, but will never stop it. Also, schools ignore the most important factor that should be dealth with - the effect of bullying on the psyche of victim. Victims of consistent bullying should receive the same treatment that rape victims receieve… after all, what is rape but a form of bullying to get sex? Bullying victims should receieve counseling to reinforce their self image and training to prevent or assertively deal with bullying (self-defense, etc).
I was bullied until middle school, when I joined the football and wrestling teams. The sports did three things for me - one, I had teammates that had my back, two, I gained confidence in myself through the competition, and three, I began chubby and weak and ended up being able to throw just about anyone in school around.
Bullying is “natural” in the same way that stealing or other anti-social tendencies are “natural”. It’s ridiculous to expect a child to solve the problem of group bullying while adults live in a world where those problems are dealt with harshly by our justice system. Why should children have to conform to those around them in order not to annoy the top dogs? Why should boys have to learn self-defense in order to get an education? Why should schools allow backward tribal social structures to predominate over more civilized ways of interacting? I home school my kids partly because I believe that civilization is better served if my children learn calculus and how to interact with intelligent and rational people than if they learn how to conform and deal with idiots.
“No school will ever stop bullying unless they can assign staff to observe every single interaction between students, which is obviously impossible.”
Part of the problem is that when the school does come across bullying legally they often can not do more than say “Please stop.” There is little serious consequences.
A hundred years ago the teachers could have stopped much of today’s bullying with serious punishment, or expelling the bully.
“No school will ever stop bullying unless they can assign staff to observe every single interaction between students, which is obviously impossible.”
The masters at my school knew pretty well who was a bully, and then it was just a matter of catching them in the act. Six cuts with a cane and the bully would be blubbering like a baby. Few needed a repeat dose.
But what am I saying? That would be cruel, and it wouldn’t take into account diversity, genderacity, bio-dynamics and progressive psychology.
Iron Mike-
Correct… both bullying and stealing are “natural.” They are as natural as popular men using their fame to get with girls or wealthy individuals showing off their wealth. These are all alternate strategies of getting something, whether it be property, territory, recognition, respect, sex, etc. If a person does not have the tools to get something “peacefully,” they will simply resort to “antisocial” behavior.
Why should boys have to deal with bullying? They don’t, but learning to deal with it will help them out later in life because there are plenty of bullies in the adult world also. The bullying in the adult world can have more serious consequences too, so its best to learn how do deal with it when the consequences aren’t so severe.
“I home school my kids partly because I believe that civilization is better served if my children learn calculus and how to interact with intelligent and rational people than if they learn how to conform and deal with idiots.”
Well, that’s great, but the majority of people on this Earth are “idiots” so they’ll need to learn how to deal with them also. Note that I said “deal,” not “conform.” At no point have I mentioned anything about conforming.
I have to question the idea that all/most children who are bullied continue to be bullied for life. My husband and I were both subject to bullying, although nothing as dramatic as described. In my case, teachers and administration could see a group of girls take nuts and seeds off of the salad bar and throw them at me and my friends as we walked down the hall, but nothing was ever done. Fortunately, my problem was minor and short-term (a few months following a move to a new place - they stopped once I had a group of friends that included some large guys!). My husbands problem lasted for years - there weren’t really other schools in his small town.
Since then, we’ve both gone on to earn graduate degrees, we’ve had choices in our careers, and he leads projects with an engineering group while I teach at a community college. I would never claim that our experiences were good for us, but they don’t seem to have established a lifelong pattern of ‘victim’ nor have they turned us into bullies. It was actually interesting to me that in my first year of college, many of the students in my honors dorm related tales of minor bullying, but most have gone on to successful lives. I’m not sure that the same could be said of students suffering as much as the kid in the story, though.
Supersub, I was responding to the general idea in some of the comments that children who stick out are more likely to be bullied. So one could conclude that for some people, a possible strategy against bullying would be to better blend in. Another strategy of course is to learn to fight back effectively. And I’m all for standing up for oneself. But to allow a school environment in which a child’s physical prowess determines how safe he is or how normal of a school day he has, is immoral. So if the bully or bullies are stronger, too bad for the weak? What if the bullies turn on the teachers? I’m not talking about small incidents. I’m talking about the kind of bullying that crosses into harassment if it was applied to adults.
I’ve seen this claim before (with variations, of course). I don’t buy it. One reason I don’t buy it is that the only successful way to deal with childhood bullying that I’ve ever seen work is to learn to inflict enough physical damage on the bully that he decides it isn’t fun anymore (and usually just picks another victim … sigh). Note that I don’t say you have to be able to “win” a fight, just cause enough damage that the bully decides the game isn’t fun anymore.
I don’t see how this applies in the adult world. In the adult world, you file police report if someone (a co-worker, for example) is physically assaulting you. In the child world, the police say, “Sorry, nothing we can do.” [NOTE: Based on personal experience, not just the story Joanne linked] So, the lesson learned in childhood here is almost exactly the opposite of the lesson that applies in the adult world.
-Mark Roulo
Bullies need to experience physical pain. Find a way to catch them and hurt them, and bullying stops. Pain is a great motivator, something we’ve forgotten in this feminized society of ours. Self-defense is a human right, but if you’re too little or too skinny to dish out the payback, you need someone who can do it for you. If it were legal and acceptable to get a bunch of student enforcers to patrol the campus at peak bullying times, they could locate said bullies and beat the crap out of them. Of course, what I’m saying is ridiculous and over-the-top absurd, but it would work.
Molly said, ” What prevents the parents from calling the police? ”
In my district the family will be told that it’s not within their jurisdiction. For example, a child in a family that I know suffered a severe beating in a school that left him unconscious (as a result of bullying) The school then called the mother to come “pick him up” When she arrived she had to call an ambulance. The ER physician notified social services on the school since he felt this was one of the most egregious and outrageous cases of neglect he had ever seen. The child spent a week in intensive care. Social Services told the family it was outside of their jurisdiction to investigate schools (don’t know if that is really true, but that is what the parents were told) the family contacted the police directly and they told the same thing.
If this had been a family of means I am sure they could have hired a lawyer at great expense and found a way to pursue justice, but they weren’t so they dropped the whole matter and had the child change schools, albeit within the same school district.
In another school that I worked out there was a severe beating: six on one that landed a kid in the hospital for a while also, but this was after school. In a University I worked at the administration routinely did not take action against students fighting and other violent incidents, even when these incidents took place in front of many witnesses. My assumption is that a record of police reports would make the school look bad to the public and so they wanted to surpress them.
It is never a good thing when any institution is in charge of investigating and prosecuting itself.
Myrtle -
That story makes my stomach turn. Public schools want to claim dominion over the kids, yet when a kid is hurt so badly as to spend a week in intensive care they don’t even have the bloody sense to call an ambulance?
I’m quite sure that if a homeschooler had not immediately called an ambulance in case of a similar injury people would be screaming “child abuse” at the top of their lungs. Why not here?
Craziness.
Wouldn’t it be a rotten shame for these BULLIES to be exposed as the story progresses!? Their families would be exposed as well. Just a little embarrassing being on the national news front for getting pleasure out of beating somebody for their own self gratification.
The guys doing it are probably just miserable kids with little or no future to begin with…certainly if future employers, college admissions offices and their own CHILDREN in the future see what they did because it is all over the internet. Just a little embarrassing????
Let’s have some of these guys names out there…..
Any thoughts>
I support Billy because my brother was picked on in school and I couldn’t stand it so anyone who decided to try I would step in and they would walk away. I think that if he keeps his friends around him at all times that he will be ok. But like he said in the video those kids get around him when his friends aren’t around, and that was the case with my brother when I wasn’t around. So he’s not going to be protected all the time. Maybe if he fights back with these kids that are picking on him they’ll leave him alone. I still agree that the parents should sue the school because they’re treating it as some kind of joke and it’s not. It’s like their giving them a slap on the hand and saying it’s ok to go out there and do it again because we won’t punish you if you do. I can’t stand schools like that. I went to Richland High school and that’s basically what they did too they didn’t suspend the kids that was picking on my brother; even the teachers picked on him which really pissed me off. If the threats go on it could very well lead to that kind of harassment and he could be found beaten to death. Until the school does something about it after the lawsuit I would put him in home school though just to be safe. And to the parents who kids are picking on this boy I would consider putting them in a detention center maybe they have anger issues that you don’t know about and they think that since Billy is a “easy target” they’ll take their aggression out on him.
Simple. Call the police each time there is an assault. We pay taxed for the poice to protect us. This doesn’t mean that they only protect us after we finish high school. If you were an adult, and somebody “knocked you out”, wouldn’t you call the police? So, CALL THE POLICE EACH TIME… even if you have to put call them yourself. Get a CELL PHONE. Come on.
Unfortunately this is not uncommon. I am the mother of a 16 year old girl that has been bullied since about the 2nd Grade. She has been in 5 different schools and the same things happens at them all. It seems to me that other children don’t seem to like anyone that likes themselves. Not only has she been bullied by the students but we had to pull her from one school because the TEACHER was bullying her…can you imagine. And the schools never do anything. We homeschooled her for about a half a year because of all this. We have done everything imaginable and still no resolution. She was even attached by another girl and had scratches on her hand and I was NEVER notified by the school. Best of luck to all that are experiencing this problem.
Chris is right. Call the cops and sue the school, just as if you were assulted on the job and management did nothing. Kids will be kids, rapists will be rapists and mass murdereers will be mass murderers.
Calling the cops is an attractive option. In my experience, however, police are either prohibited or reluctant to take any action on anything that they do not see happen. They would likely refer the complaining party to take civil action–which is what is currently happening. Reality is, the schools have some legal obligation to respond to harassment of students and to take action to prevent reoccurance–just as an employer would.
There are a fair number of teachers who really believe in the “They bring it on themselves” and “kids have to learn to work it out” memes.
What they forget is that 1. the “punishment” is usually way out of proportion to the crime (physical assaults in response to quirkiness/ADD/poor social skills) and 2. Kids don’t have the necessary tools to work these things out by themselves. You have to teach them.
It’s like if I left my two year old alone with my crying infant and figured that they’d “work it out themselves.” I’d come home to a dead baby.
Bullying is why 6th grade was the worst year of my life. How did it end? I went to a magnet school for junior high–so nerdiness and poor social skills were no longer a punishable offense.
The worst thing is that these days, the kid being bullied is often worse off then the bully.
When I taught school, there was a seventh grader (sweet, smart, kid but had some problems at home) who was being bullied. He pretty much kept to himself though. Then one of the bullies’ enablers asked him who he wished was dead. He named the bullies. The bullies reported the conversation to the admin and got the poor kid kicked out as a potential school shooter!
Basically, bullies know how to work the system. That’s why they’re so successful. And at any school there are a certain number of teachers who were bullies in their youth and actually sympathize with the bullies rather than their victims.
Hopefully cases like the one in Arkansas will get more attention, so people start realizing that this is NOT ok, and that when “harmless” behaviors (name-calling, crank calls, pinching aand poking, etc.) go unpunished they quickly escalate into violence.
Maybe it’s time for teachers to realize that there’s not too much difference between a 12 year old and a two year old… especially when the 12 year old has been in daycare since he was two…..
1. Fighting The “Gang Mentality”
By Anonymous (Male)
I bet the bullies that actually fight with Billy are actually being manipulated by their friends. This is how it works: the ring leader decides to demonstrate his power by manipulating his or her minions to harass a seemingly vulnerable student. The ring leader says “so-and so is x, y and Z”. If you minions want to be in my click you must punish so an so. Off the minions go to execute their masters bidding. Of course, the master (alpha male or female) does not use such direct language - his or her instructions are subtle, but well understood. Often the ring leader avoids punishment because they are smart enough to avoid direct involvement. Instead they sit back and enjoy the show - manipulating their simple minded minions and indirectly bulling those that they cannot affectively control.
Please do not encourage the victim to fight. The result can easily be devastating. Encourage the victim to use the law. Fights can go bad wrong. Lost teeth, death fro traumatic head injury, choking deaths, eye damage. The victim may not be willing to lose they may choke stab shoot hit with object ect…. the aggressor may be really mean - and or stupid he could do any of the above. Often the aggressor is just some stupid person that the real bully is using as a proxy
My fights didn’t end to bad - A good undercut cracked my molar - and the magnetic CB antenna base plate I was holding severely injured and attacker - he came close to death. He was a good person manipulated by rotten idiots - what if I killed him?? I like my teeth and would have liked to skip the gold crown. My hands are still scared from the teeth and bone of the attackers I have been forced to fight. And yes, I have run from many fights also. I am proud to say I have never fought some who did not first attack me. I have learned through the years and I am now better able to stay away from dangerous people. Being out of school helps because it is hard to stay away from them when you are in the same school.
Martial arts are great, but you don’t have to study them long to figure out how to kill someone - man its strange but 8 out of 10 fights I have been in were with some dummy that didn’t even realize he was fighting for someone else. Do you really want to kill someone like this. I don’t want to spend 20 years in jail. You don’t want your son or daughter going to reform school - I hear the fighting there is worse. They will be taught how to smoke crack.
The school system needs to be trained to circumvent the sub grouping that is taking place at this undisciplined school. The school is obviously slandering the victim. Blame the victim - is the best tactic to use - its great when you can convince your parents and teachers that your violent behavior is ok. And guess what - allot of the uninvolved students concur that Billy is the problem. But, the truth is - they may actually be the behind the scene manipulator. Some of the students are saying “ I just avoid Bill”. That’s great so half the kids are physically and verbally torturing Billy and the other half are isolating him socially. May as well shot him in the head. Look Dummies be nice to Billy show him by example how to act. Help him make friends. Show some compassion.
There is this great saying in this old book I looked in once. Goes something like “ Treat others as you would like to be treated” – I find when I am able to do this I sleep better. I’m not real good at it, but I am going to try to do better.