In reading about a “pain compliance” scheme to control airborne terrorists, Darren sees a way to solve all discipline problems in school — and make teachers’ jobs more fun: Shock collars on students.
I’ve often joked that students should wear electric shock collars at school. Teachers (or perhaps just a couple of us) would carry around remote controls. We could zap students in the hallways — you know why? Just because we could. It would be a wonderful improvement on student discipline at school.
Is he serious? Well, no. It’s just a fantasy.
I’ve considered shock collars. Other teachers support me.
“Sit down.”
“Maan I don’t wanna..” *zzzztttt*
“I said sit down.”
That and having little GPS type trackers so we know where they are in the building.
I like the idea of GPS type trackers. This would also be helpful when little kids get lost in stores.
The best part about this post is that when reading this on my browser, the title bar reads, “Discipline Problems Solved at Joanne Jacobs”.
Don’t we all have these fantasies one time or another?
I could mention the other side of the remote methodology but it would get me banned from the site.
My biggest fear when I saw this posted was that someone, despite Joanne’s ending statement, would say something like (imagine this in the most huffy voice possible), “That’s just abuse. Any teacher who even thinks like this shouldn’t be teaching.” I’m glad people can recognize a joke when they see one.
Even better… have a signal sent to the collars of any students in the hallway after the tardy bell… that’ll take care of tardies.
After 3 years of teaching, and complaining about the need for cattle prods, my family found themselves in a feed store where the did in fact sell them. My sons were very nervous that I would find one, buy it, and “practice at home” before taking it to school.
Nice idea, but my wife wouldn’t let me have one.
What if parents controlled a collar on the teachers? Or, ideally, everyone control collars on politicians.
O.K., officer, I’ll go quietly.
I taught overseas for a year where corporal punishment was actively encouraged. A well-timed stick to the palms would easily put an end to any minor infractions such as talking or tomfoolery. It is not meant to be a cure-all, especially for kids whose problems run deeper than the odd instance of horseplay.
Discipline doesn’t have to be high tech. Swats from the gym teacher did the trick when I was in junior high. Everybody feared that large paddle with holes in it.
In a child-centered and technology-infused environment, the kids control the remotes.
this is funny , it might work
but we ‘re going to creat big haters of schools and teachers , we will be in real danger outside school 