Comments on: Middle-class teens and Leopold II http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/ Free-linking and thinking on education by Joanne Jacobs Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:38:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: tweenteacher.com » Teens at Home vs. the Office: Comment on Joanne Jacobs article http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-75675 tweenteacher.com » Teens at Home vs. the Office: Comment on Joanne Jacobs article Tue, 20 May 2008 04:02:44 +0000 http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-75675 [...] saw this article today, “Middle Class Teens and Leopold II,” by Joanne Jacob.  I always like seeing my Google Reader go bold when she’s got something new on the stove. [...] [...] saw this article today, “Middle Class Teens and Leopold II,” by Joanne Jacob.  I always like seeing my Google Reader go bold when she’s got something new on the stove. [...]

]]> By: Heather Wolpert-Gawron http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74734 Heather Wolpert-Gawron Fri, 02 May 2008 03:18:51 +0000 http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74734 But it's also developmental for Middle School and High School students to act differently at "the office" then they do at home. In fact, we know many adults who can turn on the good behavior for a few hours a day and then come home a major grump. Yes, there are those kids who are out of line, but those tween/teen years are the times that they test those lines. As a middle school teacher, I have come across many a student who is a real pain in the "arse" but who grows up just fine and perfectly polite, having learned their lessons in life somewhere along the way. Just because they haven't learned it yet by middle school does not condemn them for all eternity. It merely makes them, well, middle schoolers. The key is to keep their developmental growth in proportion while still insisting on better behavior. It is still our jobs as teachers and parents to request and require a certain level, and not allow them to slack even if they intrinsically don't feel the "why" yet. I guess what I'm saying is: they're teenagers. Don't cut them slack, but don't be surprised either. But it’s also developmental for Middle School and High School students to act differently at “the office” then they do at home. In fact, we know many adults who can turn on the good behavior for a few hours a day and then come home a major grump. Yes, there are those kids who are out of line, but those tween/teen years are the times that they test those lines. As a middle school teacher, I have come across many a student who is a real pain in the “arse” but who grows up just fine and perfectly polite, having learned their lessons in life somewhere along the way. Just because they haven’t learned it yet by middle school does not condemn them for all eternity. It merely makes them, well, middle schoolers. The key is to keep their developmental growth in proportion while still insisting on better behavior. It is still our jobs as teachers and parents to request and require a certain level, and not allow them to slack even if they intrinsically don’t feel the “why” yet. I guess what I’m saying is: they’re teenagers. Don’t cut them slack, but don’t be surprised either.

]]> By: Bart http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74731 Bart Fri, 02 May 2008 00:38:05 +0000 http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74731 Just remember that they're essentially chimps. Extremely young ones are tame and docile whether trained or not, but an untrained adolescent is a danger to its owner and to anyone else who gets in its way. And an ape that was abused (in other words mis-trained) when young is likely to explode when it reaches puberty. Just remember that they’re essentially chimps. Extremely young ones are tame and docile whether trained or not, but an untrained adolescent is a danger to its owner and to anyone else who gets in its way. And an ape that was abused (in other words mis-trained) when young is likely to explode when it reaches puberty.

]]> By: Therese http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74728 Therese Thu, 01 May 2008 22:58:02 +0000 http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74728 My day care provider's youngest child was a dream kid at home, but was constantly in trouble at school. When we commented on what a great kid he was, she told us then that she would much rather have had it the other way around. My day care provider’s youngest child was a dream kid at home, but was constantly in trouble at school. When we commented on what a great kid he was, she told us then that she would much rather have had it the other way around.

]]> By: Margo/Mom http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74719 Margo/Mom Thu, 01 May 2008 17:07:59 +0000 http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74719 I think all of us show a better face to the world than to our families. A part of intimacy is the trust that we can be ourselves--better or worse. I think all of us show a better face to the world than to our families. A part of intimacy is the trust that we can be ourselves–better or worse.

]]> By: Deirdre Mundy http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74717 Deirdre Mundy Thu, 01 May 2008 17:02:45 +0000 http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74717 It's not just teens. Child development and parenting books frequently mention that pre-schoolers are often MUCH easier going at pre-school than at home. Why? Because they know that their parents love them and are hurt by misbehavior... and that the teacher doesn't really care--it's a job. As for treating small children like we treat adults-- I assume you mean within the limits of their development? Because you can't give a rude adult stranger a time-out... but you're OBLIGATED to give your rude child a time out so that they LEARN to be polite. Remember--kids aren't born civilized-- we have to TEACH them... =) It’s not just teens.

Child development and parenting books frequently mention that pre-schoolers are often MUCH easier going at pre-school than at home. Why? Because they know that their parents love them and are hurt by misbehavior… and that the teacher doesn’t really care–it’s a job.

As for treating small children like we treat adults– I assume you mean within the limits of their development? Because you can’t give a rude adult stranger a time-out… but you’re OBLIGATED to give your rude child a time out so that they LEARN to be polite.

Remember–kids aren’t born civilized– we have to TEACH them… =)

]]> By: Charles R. Williams http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74715 Charles R. Williams Thu, 01 May 2008 16:01:38 +0000 http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74715 I think most of us with children observe this in our own families. It is gratifying to get compliments from others about how well-behaved our children are. But it is also important that they treat us and their siblings with the proper respect. This is harder to achieve because if a behavior affects only us it is sometimes easier to tolerate an annoyance than to insist that our children behave well towards us and enforce it. The typical jerk knows how to behave properly when it is in his interest to do so. We hope for much more from our children. I think most of us with children observe this in our own families. It is gratifying to get compliments from others about how well-behaved our children are. But it is also important that they treat us and their siblings with the proper respect. This is harder to achieve because if a behavior affects only us it is sometimes easier to tolerate an annoyance than to insist that our children behave well towards us and enforce it.

The typical jerk knows how to behave properly when it is in his interest to do so. We hope for much more from our children.

]]> By: speedwell http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74714 speedwell Thu, 01 May 2008 15:22:15 +0000 http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74714 I didn't mean that last to apply to all adults, any more than Joanne meant the original post to apply to all children. If my comment stung, maybe you'd better think about why. I didn’t mean that last to apply to all adults, any more than Joanne meant the original post to apply to all children. If my comment stung, maybe you’d better think about why.

]]> By: speedwell http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74713 speedwell Thu, 01 May 2008 15:20:49 +0000 http://joannejacobs.com/2008/05/01/middle-class-teens-and-leopold-ii/#comment-74713 Interestingly, this dynamic works the other way as well. Adults can get away with treating children quite badly indeed, as long as the children are small and dependent and not taken seriously when they complain. I wonder if it's possible to persuade more adults that it's worthwhile to treat children with at least as much dignity and respect as the adults would give some random stranger. Interestingly, this dynamic works the other way as well. Adults can get away with treating children quite badly indeed, as long as the children are small and dependent and not taken seriously when they complain. I wonder if it’s possible to persuade more adults that it’s worthwhile to treat children with at least as much dignity and respect as the adults would give some random stranger.

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