Forget about idealism and fairness! Get politically uninvolved! Go out and make a bunch of money, advises P.J. O’Rourke in a model graduation speech in the LA Times.
Who does more for the redwoods and society anyway — the guy chained to a tree or the guy who founds the “Green Travel Redwood Tree-Hug Tour Company” and makes a million by turning redwoods into a tourist destination, a valuable resource that people will pay just to go look at?
Politics stinks, he advises. It’s not just the politicians. It’s the whole process.
Imagine what even a little truth would sound like on today’s campaign trail:
“No, I can’t fix public education. The problem isn’t the teachers unions or a lack of funding for salaries, vouchers or more computer equipment The problem is your kids!”
Unfairness is a good deal for Americans, he tells graduates.
I’ve got a 10-year-old at home. She’s always saying, “That’s not fair.” When she says this, I say, “Honey, you’re cute. That’s not fair. Your family is pretty well off. That’s not fair. You were born in America. That’s not fair. Darling, you had better pray to God that things don’t start getting fair for you.” What we need is more income, even if it means a bigger income disparity gap.
Consider the Tenth Commandment: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s.”
Here are God’s basic rules about how we should live, a brief list of sacred obligations and solemn moral precepts. And, right at the end of it we read, “Don’t envy your buddy because he has an ox or a donkey.” Why did that make the top 10? Why would God, with just 10 things to tell Moses, include jealousy about livestock?
Well, think about how important this commandment is to a community, to a nation, to a democracy. If you want a mule, if you want a pot roast, if you want a cleaning lady, don’t whine about what the people across the street have. Get rich and get your own.
As Billie Holliday sang, “God bless the child that’s got his own.”
For sarcasm-challenged readers, it should be noted that O’Rourke is a satirist.
For satire-challenged readers, it should be noted that O’Rourke is a conservative satirist. In this speech, he’s being humorous but not sarcastic, and means to convey broadly the same message that the literal meaning of his words would suggest.
I know someone who has this approach to child-rearing, and let me tell you, they don’t have any issues with their children being demanding or fussy or ungrateful. One of the best things a parent can do for a child is to take the natural envious urges we are all born with and change them to a healthy competitive streak (go out and get your own donkey!) and a healthy compassionate streak (but always remember there are others out there with no donkeys at all).
You need to have something before you can share it.
I thought it was great advice.
An example of what he means in terms of the Redwoods.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6091334.stm
I’ve always felt that the current trend of activism was completely useless… for the organizers, its a way to acquire power and money, and for the followers, it gives them a hollow sense of belonging to something. I think the movie “PCU” did it right when they stereotyped “cuase-heads,” individuals who were for anything as long as they could hold a sign and say a chant.
Those that actually do something with their lives do far more for society than anyone who has ever protested.
I wish that this type of graduation message is what I was going to hear this weekend………..