As a 22-year-old Teach for America geometry teacher, Danny Rosenthal took veteran teachers’ advice: Don’t smile until Christmas. But he became convinced that he couldn’t teach well until he got to know his students as people
Urban teachers lose a lot of students to apathy and alienation because they don’t connect with them in meaningful ways; many students don’t care because they don’t feel that schools care about them.
At first, he maintained his distance from students.
My job was to work hard to explain concepts clearly and offer extra help when needed. Their job was to stay focused, ask questions, and be positive. But, in retrospect, I failed to understand that I was only going to be a successful teacher if I convinced my students that I was there to help them, that we were in a partnership together.
When I was reporting for Our School, which is about a turnaround charter school aimed at underperforming Mexican-American students, kids always said, “Teachers here care about me.” They were willing to care if they perceived the teachers cared. Teachers were strict in demanding good behavior and hard work, but the kids saw that as caring. It’s a lot harder to create that dynamic in a large school that lacks a unifying mission.
It may indeed be harder, but it’s absolutely necessary to control your classes. The “don’t smile until Christmas” is an exaggeration, but you need to show kids there are consequences for what they do.
I don’t think I could stand coming to work if I didn’t have control over my classes. But controlling the class is one way to show that you care. Honestly, until you do that, there isn’t much else positive that can happen in any class.
“Students will not care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” I completely agree with this.
But, above all else, my relationships with my students is rooted in the strong sense that they know I am here for their learning before anything else. (well, their safety is actually #1 - but that’s a given)
Relationships need to be built on trust. How can a student ask for help, if they don’t feel that trust.